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uh hai? Junior Year and I wonder if I’ll stay the same or change…?

  • Writer: Maria Espinosa Ventura
    Maria Espinosa Ventura
  • 7 hours ago
  • 3 min read

Hello. Look yeah I know its been like four months but lets cut to the chase. Sophomore year sucked. No, knowing your way around campus doesn’t make your life easier….trust me, I learned that the hard way. My second semester was a total disaster…who was I? I wish I knew, but hey… Here I am writing again.

If you guys want tips on how to survive school (because I know I will be using those) then let me know but for now lets soak up this moment. 

My first day of Junior Year. Wow, I am feeling old. My third year in high school. Now this is the real shit, so I have got to lock in, which is why I am coming back to my blog because it will be the only thing keeping me SANE (besides my friend group). 


I love how I say this but I am in fact writing this at 11:07pm and I will be waking up in 6 hours. But I have a good excuse and that is that my hair is too wet to be put in heatless curls. Anyways I lowkey forgot what I was making this blog about but for now it is just me ranting about how I am getting older…blah blah blah. If people want to know what goes on in my brain besides being mysterious here it is. 


How have you guys been? Hopefully good. If not, don’t worry life is only a bitch for a bit. Now for the good stuff, throughout this week I have told myself this “Wow fresh start for school, I will seriously lock in this year” “New me!!!!!” “I need to be a hot bitch” Etc. You get the jist. But for some reason sometimes it doesn't feel like reinvention, it's just me having a good hair and makeup day and suddenly believing I’m mysterious and shit and honestly that only lasts until the second week where I show up in last minute bad outfits and 300 missing assignments. 


So here's what I keep asking myself. Is reinvention just a myth or is it truly possible and if so why does it only last a few weeks before we are back at a slump. And if it truly is possible how do we maintain that throughout the whole year? 


The short answer is. Yes it can be achieved, but it's different when we JUST tell ourselves that this school year will be different but come back with the same habits that made the last year absolute hell. Like for example last year my big problem was the fact that I never really did my homework, I would just do it so last minute and it was poor work so of course I want to get better at that because homework helps you become successful in class. So today I came home from a long day at tennis and wanted to take a fat nap BUT instead I ended up setting an alarm and woke up to start AP LANG, and you know what happened ...my confidence boosted? Weird, right? But it's true. 


I guess what I’m trying to say is this, those random cravings we get at 2 a.m. to become a whole new person, the ones that disappear by 9 a.m.?Maybe they’re just small confidence boosters that keep us going. BUT why only have them last a few days or minutes or hours when if we truly stick to the new habits we create then we can always feel better for ourselves. Even though I know that sometimes we want to become better and look better because we want others to see our success, why? Bitch I am trying to figure that out myself. But that will be for another blog because I know I care too much about certain peoples' outlook on me. 

Anyways reinvention isn’t a myth. It’s just not instant. It’s not the hair, the outfit, or the aesthetic, it’s the habits you actually stick to. Romanticizing is cute, but real reinvention is when you can look at yourself and think “damn, I actually kept going.” So my goal for all of you is to stick to wanting to be that bad bitch with goals….KEEP GOING! We will all lock in this year guys dont even worrry. 


Anyways that is all I have for you today guys!

Love you all

Bye Bye

XoXo, Maria E.V


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5 hours ago
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

wow this was so relatable

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