Where’s Maria 17:17

I turned 17 on January 17th and I definitely did not expect half of my frontal lobe to develop but I was looking forward to something changing.

Filling out applications that ask you questions like “why are you this way?” “Who are you?” “why are you, you?” definitely makes you question whether you truly know yourself or not. Which is why I came to the conclusion that Maria does NOT know Maria. 

It’s crazy to think that because all I blab about is self discovery on this blog but genuinely I thought certain things would naturally unfold over time. Like knowing that when I unload the dishwasher I have to split the utensil section in two because there are two different kinds and if I don’t it will mess with my head. But the basic stuff, gosh I have no clue. 

So I have curated a list of 17 goals, habits, and ideas to get to know who I am and enhance my already existent persona. Usually I like to go one by one explaining why I chose something but because I do want to list 17 things out I don’t need to put you all through the hassle of having to read the intimate details. You’re welcome. Enjoy. 

1. Find my own NICHE (think 365 day button girl) 

2. Discover new artists that I actually enjoy and curate new playlists (I have listened to music for 17 years of my life and can only come up with two artist that I listen to on repeat)

3. Find raw confidence within myself (I am done with faking it till I make it) 

4. Discover my core VALUES for life. 

5. Improve my weaknesses (Don’t worry I have already acknowledged them) 

6. Read books outside of my comfort zone to rate and find my favorites. 

7. Write a poetry book (About my life obviously) 

8. Experiment with my looks (Colored mascara, clothing style, etc) 

9. Ask more questions about myself while I write in my diary!

10. Speak up…(I consider myself an introvert but this baby can talk for hours) 

11. Alone time+Social time+Hobbies+Work= BALANCE

12. Reduce social media usage (Help my creativity flow better) 

13. Let myself just exist (I can be performative sometimes) 

14. Don’t be afraid to revise (One thing I know for sure is I rush to finish things and don’t let myself be better than I already am) 

15. Create a daily routine that I can always come back (I am all here for the messy art girl vibes but there are days where I wanna feel in control)

16. Make a “Truth List” (I try to hide my feelings sometimes and I just know that’s not good)

17. Observe, think, write

That’s my list! It’s almost Friday and my plan is to go watch Wuthering Heights and eat SUSHI! Hope you guys have a great week!

Bye Bye

XoXo, Maria E.V